Great minds sometimes forget--or get lost!!!

I used to boast a terrific memory. I also used to think I was a terrific planner. For whatever reason both of these have taken a back seat to my kids and thus forgetting is art of my nature now.
I always was the person who sent cards on birthdays, planned for various aspects of my life—daily ad future—and was always one step ahead. Gifts were wrapped the night before a party, bills were paid a week or more in advance, lists were checked and rechecked but now I am lucky to have anything done in advance. Every aspect of my life is late, worse, lost.

Does it have anything to do with age. Maybe. But moreover I think it has much more to do with the number of balls one has in the air at once. The juggling act could warrant addition to the circus, but I think those folks actually remember what they’re tasked with!

I really do have a lot of moving parts occurring right now. I start several days a week with kid undressing and dressing, feeding, changing, remembering to remind my big girl to use the potty, wash hands, prepare and eat breakfast, pick up toys, stop hitting your sisters, and on and on. Empty the dishwasher, add more dishes, clean up breakfast, dress myself, refill sippy cups, sweep up the floor, and then we get to 8:30 when the doorbell rings and Beth our trusty second set of hands arrives and off I go to manage a whole new set of responsibilities. I end my day with more changing of diapers, full family preparations for feeding dinner, changing of clothing, baths, snuggles, stories, a variety of songs and prayers before heading back to the kitchen to prepare more meals for the following day, opening the mail, loading the dishwasher, jotting down what I need to remember for tomorrow and finally working out, folding and putting away laundry returning calls, showering, checking my email messages for the last time that day, saying prayers and hitting the hay. Ultimately something is left undone,. But that’s life, right?

Recently, I have had yet another thing that been mind consuming. It’s that Beth will be driving the kids to and from activities. Maybe some would shrug and think this isn’t a big deal but for me it’s a battle of my conscious and has kept me up for far too many nights than I care to. It’s not that I don’t trust Beth, it’s that I don’t trust anyone else.

Take for example that Alexandra was driven once in her life by another person other than me or her dad. It was the day Annika was born and my step-MIL drove her to the hospital, and back home. That was it. So now I am supposed to take a deep breath and hand over the most important people in my life and I am freaking out. I mean boarder line schizo. Beth is totally stressed out--and it doesn’t help that my husband does not have a poker face and was stressing about the car seat not having a latch! –and I am stressing about her driving, and now everyone is uncomfortable! HELP! Am I crazy, for real? I think so. I just need to breathe, to let it all out and I guess this is my own way of expressing myself for now. So, deal with me as I rant and feel free to send along any encouraging notes you may have. I sure can use them! Because for now, I am really am “losing” my mind.